Ok, those who know me will know that I’m a Eurovision tragic.
The three nights of the year SBS broadcasts the contest are permanently etched in my diary. Nothing, save the last days or a hot women offering me pleasure, will take me away from these three hilarious nights of terrible costumes, horrible voices, and hilarious snark.
And despite not being a drinker, I think it’s important for others to enjoy Eurovision whilst drunk. Shots, wine, absinthe – skull down whatever you keep as your favourite poison during the show.
To make it fun, here’s my rules for a Eurovision drinking game.
A word of warning. If you’re going to play this properly, please be a responsible host – and make sure you have a spare bed for your guests to sleep in rather than them risking their life on the roads.
Simple, each time one of these things happen – you have to take a drink.
- UK or Ireland win (will be needed to survive their encore performance)
- Obvious miming
- Wardrobe malfunction
- Singing in invented languages
- French entrant sings in English
- Use of a water feature in an act
Two shots/Big gulp
- Fireworks, pyrotechnics
- Singer who evokes Adele undertones (gender doesn’t matter)
- Lead singer with tattoos
- Wind machines
- Martial arts moves
- Artists or their backups wearing leather or similar
- Burlesque outfits
- Any time Israel is mentioned
- Strobe lighting
- Buff men sans shirt
- Anytime the UK is awarded points
- Use of ethnic instrument
- Country’s points presenter unnecessarily drags out announcing their votes
- Any time the audience is heard booing the current act or country’s points announcement